新加坡《女友》雜誌9月刊人物專欄:辛曉琪對愛情不灰心  


辛曉琪對愛情不灰心
 

記者/楊斌 
 

 

 

 

 

從《領悟》及《味道》開始封上“療傷歌后”名銜,報章上看到的那一段又一段的坎坷戀情,辛曉琪一直讓人有一種“苦命”的感覺。闊別兩年再次推出新專輯,楊斌要你看看她樂觀的一面。

 

總覺得辛曉琪是一位非常“可惜”的歌手,一直都未能“大紅大紫”。說她沒有運氣,她又可以在寂寂無名的時候受到李宗盛的賞識,將她引薦到滾石唱片,還為她寫下令她“一鳴驚人”的“領悟”。

 

她沒有實力,三度入圍台灣最佳女演唱人、台灣中時晚報年度最佳女歌手等殊榮的承認,肯定不是信手拈來的。

 

她曲高和寡,《領悟》、《味道》、《走過》、《女人何苦為爲難女人》、《童話》等唱到街知巷聞、穩佔卡拉OK點唱前10位,就是她受歡迎的最大證明。

 

愛情放棄工作

 

想了很久,還是遲遲未能得到答案。再回想每當辛曉琪的歌唱事業稍有起色的時候,在同一個時候也湊巧地傳出了她在“蜜運”中的消息。過後,她便會“消失”一陣子。等到她再出現的時候,就聽見她和男友分手的新聞。

 

想到這裡,我試圖將這些過程理出一個“方程式”,得到的答案竟然是:

 

曉琪 + 愛情 = 無心戀戰;

曉琪 - 愛情 = 努力工作!

 

對我來說,辛曉琪可以說是某個程度不可以沒有愛情的女人。怎麼說呢?如果有工作,她可以暫時投入工作,忘了愛情。但是如果愛情來了的時候,她就會忘了工作,全情投入在愛情中。

 

問她有愛情和沒有愛情時的生活有什麼不同,她坦然說:“有愛情的時候,工作比較不專一,比較不愛工作;沒有愛情的時候,可以專注地工作,向前衝刺。我是那種可以為了愛情而放棄工作的女人。”

 

情路坎坷

 

雖然辛曉琪不算是一位“高調”歌手,但每一位藝人的戀情總是會受到衆人的矚目。發生在她身上的姐弟戀、被男朋友“劈腿”等新聞,還是會被媒體大肆報導。

 

在我們的眼堿搢荂A辛曉琪在這一路來的愛情道路上,真的比很多人崎嶇。不過,她自己並不這麼認為。

 

和一些人比較,辛曉琪覺得自己沒有被卷入那些糾纏不清、拖拖拉拉,甚至是藕斷絲連、欲斷不斷般的感情堙A真的是幸運多了。

 

到目前為止,我所經歷過的感情雖然沒有什麼好結果,卻至少都乾淨利落,不會拖泥帶水。我覺得每一段感情的結束應該是這樣子的,能愛就繼續愛下去,不能的話就必須分開。”

 

回顧那一段段沒有結果的愛情,辛曉琪波並不覺得後悔,反而認為自己從中得到了一些領悟。

 

愛的領悟

 

“我發現無論是多深厚的愛情,到最後自己還是最重要的。不管你的愛情是甜蜜、快樂、痛苦、悲慘,還是需要由你自己一個人去面對、去感受,身旁的人永遠都沒有辦法為你承擔一丁點。因此,就算是再偉大、再轟烈的愛情,也絕對不可以哀悼沒有了自己。”

 

辛曉琪認為,在一段感情結束後,女人並不應該讓自己扮演“受傷者”的角色,因為愛情是雙方面的。

 

聽她那麼說,腦海堨艅餕T起了其成名曲《領悟》中的一段歌詞:我們的愛若是錯誤,愿你我沒有白白受苦,若是真心真意付出,就應該滿足。

 

沒想到隔幾天,這一段歌詞也成為填詞人李宗盛在和林憶蓮離婚時的最後一句話。

 

及時追求愛情

 

非常慶幸,這一切沒有結果的愛情經歷,並沒有在辛曉琪目前的愛情路上留下任何陰影。

 

辛曉琪覺得一個女人追求愛情的欲望,會隨著年齡增長而增加。

 

我發現自己對愛情的渴望,從來都沒有因為任何事情而減少,反而是年紀越大,對愛情的追求變得更勇敢。可能是在追求愛情的路上經歷比較多的事情,開始感覺到人生埵釩雃h事情,如果不勇敢去追求,很可能就不再有機會。老話一句:青春一去不復返。”

 

當辛曉琪回想起自己過去的每一段戀情時,常常都會慶幸自己當初做出的抉擇。也因為這樣,她才會對未來的愛情充滿了憧憬。

 

曉琪表示,愛情是一種非常奇妙的東西。它可以因為一種“未知”的感覺而變得讓人有所期待,讓人充滿喜悅。愛情也可以因為一種“未知”的感覺變得非常危險,因為你永遠無法掌握對方,甚至還會無法掌握自己。

 

愛情是一門學問

 

引用她最新專輯《我也是會愛上別人的》歌詞本堛漱@句話:愛情是一個女人成長的最佳教材,青春是愛情的學費。

 

問她覺得自己目前在愛情這一門學問堙A處於什麼樣的階段?

 

對別人來講應該都已經是博士班了,但我想自己還是處於學士吧?不會很低吧?我在幫別人解決愛情上的問題時還挺在行的,但等到要對自己所面對的愛情問題進行判斷的時候,就會變得迷糊。”

 

當自己在愛情上踫到不愉快的時候,辛曉琪一定會找一些知心好友出來傾訴、發洩。當怨氣全部給吐出來後,她便會把一切不開心抛諸腦後。

 

我笑著說她應該好好地用功,努力繼續進修愛情這門學問。她也笑著大聲地回應:“一定!”

 

愛情雖然不是辛曉琪的全部,卻佔了非常重要的一部分。她認為愛情不但可以點綴生活,而且還可以讓平凡的人生起不同的變化,讓生活永遠保持新鮮感。

 

愛情堨籇

 

水瓶座的辛曉琪,形容自己是一位喜歡冒險、非常任性的女人。

 

我覺得自己在愛情上比較任性,在生活上的任性反而比較少。”對於朋友們都不看好的戀情,她總會抱著一種“僥幸”的心態去嘗試,總覺得大家所說的並不一定是完全對的,搞不好這個就是一百零一個真命天子。

 

在感情上失敗多次的辛曉琪也開始“學乖”了,現在遇上情投意合的男人,就會第一時間帶給“姐妹們”過目。如果她們都覺得不好,就不會繼續下去。

 

雖這麼說,辛曉琪最終還是非常相信自己的第六感與直覺,因為她是“感覺動物”。

 

到感覺,問她對怎樣的男人才有感覺?

 

我覺得人品很重要,品性一定要好,還有一定要很有責任感。外貌方面,他一定要有特殊的氣質,最好有一點文質彬彬,一定要乾乾淨淨的。”

 

 期待新戀情

 

針對新專輯《我也會愛上別人的》這個題目,問她在怎麼樣的情況下最容易愛上別人。

 

笑得甜甜的辛曉琪說,對方一定要展開非常“猛烈”的攻勢,例如不斷打電話或email給她,而且還必須無時無刻都關心她。

 

對於一段新戀情的開始,她還是會抱著喜悅的態度去接受。“朋友都說我沒救了,到現在 還不怕死。是的,我還是非常期待下一段感情的開始。”

 

 

【2004-09/新加坡女友雜誌】 

 

This reporter wrote: whenever I think about Winnie, I would think to "What a pity!  With such great ability to sing beautifully, with well-known hits, she can be more famous than who she is now.  So, just what's lacking?  What went wrong?  I pondered to myself for a long long time, but still can't explain.  Then, I recalled that there was a period of time when Winnie's career seemed to have picked up a little, then at almost the same time, words on her romance came round.  Not long later, she almost "disappeared".  When she made her appearance again, it was known that her relationship had ended.  Upon this, I developed a set of equation for Winnie:

 

Winnie + Romance = career takes a backseat

 

Winnie - Romance = Strives her best in her career!

 

 To me, Winnie is someone who cannot be without love to some extent.  When it comes to her career, she can temporarily concentrate on her work and forget about romance.  But when she meets her Mr. Right, she can forget about working and totally immersed herself in love.

 

She admits that when she is in love, she tends not to be able to concentrate so well in her career, tends to prefer not to work; but when she is on her own again, she can really concentrate on her work and go all the way out!  "I am the kind of woman who can give up my career for love", Winnie admits.

 

Although Winnie is one who keeps a low profile especially when it comes to her personal life, but just like all other public figures, her May-December romance came under close scrutiny by the media and subsequently, she was not spared by the media either when news on her junior boyfriend going out with another came to light.

 

In our opinion, Winnie indeed suffered pretty much in her love life, but she begs to differ.  At least, she feels quite lucky that although her romances had not ended well, they have rather clean breaks and do not drag on and on such that things get messy and complicated.  She feels that this ought to be the way.

 

As Winnie recalls her past romances, she did not feel regretful, instead she finds that she has learnt quite a fair bit from each of these relationships.  No matter how deep is the love in a relationship, no matter how sweet, how happy, how painful, how sorrowful, only yourself who is in it know best, one can lose a lover but should never lose oneself.  Winnie also feels that when a romance ends, women ought not to behave like a victim, because it is always a two-way thing in a relationship.

 

As Winnie shares this, I recall the lyrics from her hit "If our love is a mistake, hope that you and I did not suffer in vain.  We should already be contented if  we indeed had truly loved each other."

Fortunately, all the relationships that failed to work out did not leave her disillusioned about romance. 

 

Winnie feels that as time passes by, a women's desire for romance tends to grow stronger.

 

"Personally, my desire for romance do not lessen because of any setbackInstead, I find that I become more bold in romance these days.  Perhaps after going through so much, I learn that if I hesitate now,  I may lose the opportunity forever."

 

As Winnie recalls each of her past relationship, she is quite glad she made the right decision in each.  At least now she is still able to keep a positive outlook in this aspect of her life.

 

Winnie shared that love can indeed makes one marvels.  Love can makes one feel so expectant and fills one with so much joy due to some kind of uncertain element in it.  Yet on the other hand, because it is so uncertain at times, it can become dangerous when things get out of control.

 

There is a saying written in the lyrics booklet of her latest album which goes, "love is a woman's best tutor in life and youth is the tuition fees."

 

If romance is an academic discipline, at which level is Winnie in? Perhaps just at the basic degree level; she is quite good in giving advices to others but when it comes to her own romance, she is not so sharp in judgment.

 

When she faces unpleasantness in her relationship, she will surely confide in friends and  then put everything behind her.  The reporter teased her that she ought to upgrade herself in the lesson of love; she laughed and agreed readily.

 

Although romance is not everything in Winnie's life, but it has an important place.    She thinks that not only can romance adds color to one's life, it can change an otherwise routine life, making daily living different and fresh.

 

Being one under the Aquarius sign, Winnie described herself as one who loves adventures and who can be very wild-willed., especially in the area of romance but not so much in other aspects of life.  Even when friends do not think very positively about a certain relationship, she will still carry a "I-never-try-I-never-know" attitude and tends to believe that she can just beat the odds.    

 

After all these while, she has learn to trust in her friends' advice more than her own feelings.  So, she will let her friends meet her suitor and if they give negative advice, she knows better to stay not to go on.  However, to a large extent, she still trust a lot in her own sixth sense and gut feel.

 

Really, what kind of guys would give her the right feel?  Must have a good personality, must have a sense of responsibility, must have a certain charisma, fair-spoken, polite, clean (rather than rugged).

 

In line with the theme in her new album, Winnie was asked, under what circumstances would she fall in love with another.

 

Winnie smiled and said, "He must takes lot of initiative, such as endless phone calls or emails.  And be concerned all the time."

 

Winnie is still open about starting a new relationship.  "My friends all said I am beyond hope.  Never grown fearful.  Yes, I do look forward to my next romance."